A song that says it all

  A little over a year ago one of my very best friends had me listen to a song while we were getting ready for a night out. Thinking we would be listening to the new Taylor Swift CD or Katy Perry single, I continued to do my makeup alongside my friend. Little did I know, this song would hit the nail on the head on how I had been trying to express myself when people would ask me about my dad and how I was doing. We listened to this song a few times on replay, and I tried to keep myself composed so I wouldn't freak out and cry all over my friend and ruin my makeup! Since that night I haven't listened to it again. Until today! Truth is, it scared me! It was absolutely insane to me how much my story connected with this song. Right down to the lyric about a certain holiday I had become sensitive about, Christmas! Everyone's favorite time of year right? Nope! Not mine! Not anymore! Well, at least not the last three years. See, Christmas is (was) my dad's birthday! So the last few Christmas mornings have been really different for me and really hard. For 22 years I had spent my Christmas mornings celebrating my dad with a big birthday breakfast, and my traditional gift to him of a Hickory Farms Summer Sausage and cheese! I still celebrate him with our tradition, just now its spent at a cemetery where I share the sausage and cheese with my dad next to his headstone. I'm sure my dad is looking down at me laughing as I do this, because he absolutely hated his birthday and celebrating it was as if it were a chore! But my mom and I always tried to make it a point to separate Christmas time from his birthday for a couple hours so he would feel special and like it was his day. Anyway, back to this song that speaks to me in profound ways when I can't express myself on my own..... It's a country song written by Miranda Lambert called "Over You". Here are the Lyrics

Weather man said it’s gonna snow

By now I should be used to the cold

Mid-February shouldn’t be so scary

It was only December

I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me

But you went away

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I’ll be OK

But I’m not going to ever get over you

Living alone here in this place

I think of you, and I’m not afraid

Your favorite records make me feel better

Cause you sing along

With every song

I know you didn’t mean to give them to me

But you went away

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I’ll be OK

But I’m not going to ever get over you

It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone

Cause you went away,

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I’ll be OK

But I’m not going to ever get over you

  An intense amount of emotion pours over me when I listen to this song or watch the music video! It has made me cry probably 20 times tonight. I believe all tears of sadness are the first huge steps to healing! This song brings me back to the way I felt in the first year after his passing. I believe I handle it much better now, but Christmas is always a little hard. With it coming up on the holidays again, I can only hope and pray that I've healed enough to enjoy the holiday more and more each year.

  So, like I said, this song really tugs at my heart strings. Just like in the song, I also listen to my dad's favorite songs and musical artists often. Suddenly after he passed away, country music became my favorite genre and took up all of my preset stations in my car and still does to this day. I grew up with 90's country, but I stopped listening to it as a teenager. Now it makes me feel closer to him and in its own way and in my mind, keeps his memory alive.
  Thank You Ashley for supporting my journey in healing and making me listen to this song! I love you and am forever grateful for you in my life!

Through the Years! <3